“We have our issues, but still, our marriage is pretty good…”
“I’m not exactly exhilarated to go into the office on Monday mornings, but it could be a lot worse…”
“I’m pretty frustrated, but all things considered, I know I’m pretty lucky…”
How many times have you listened to a girlfriend say those exact words — usually accompanied by a deep sigh, eyes floating down to the floor, slumped shoulders, and a big gulp of wine?
How many times have you uttered similar words, yourself?
I’ve been there. We all have.
It’s a rough spot, because it’s a paradox.
On the one hand, you know that having an “attitude of gratitude” is essential to building a happy life.
So you do your daily gratitude practice. You meditate. You journal. You pin inspirational quotes on Pinterest. You post a photo of your morning latte with a heart swirl in the foam. Hashtag: #SoBlessed. You try to find the silver lining. You focus your attention on what’s working, not what’s missing.
Some days? Things feel OK.
The cute latte foam art is enough to get you through the morning.
But deep down, you know…
I’m not happy.
Deep down, you know…
“Pretty good” is no longer good enough.
But even just admitting that makes you feel like a shitty, ungrateful human being.
It’s a painful stew of contradictions.
You’re stuck in the center, torn between your desire to transform and your desire to be… “good,” “nice,” “accepting,” “zen,” “grateful,” insert-adjective-here.
The secret to getting unstuck?
It’s contained in one sentence.
I was not born to lead a “pretty good” life.
That’s it. The inarguable truth.
If your life feels like a B-minus instead of an A-plus, then frankly, darling, that is not acceptable.
You can write entries in your gratitude journal until the end of time, but that hollow yearning will still be there.
If that’s your current predicament, here are your marching orders:
– Say what you are craving. Out loud. Confess your craving to at least one person that you trust.
– Ask yourself, “How can I meet this craving?” Can you do it within the context of your current relationship, job, apartment, or circumstances? Maybe you can. It’s worth a try.
– Once you have tried to make some changes, if you find that this situation is still a B-minus, then ask yourself, “Is that good enough? Can I live with that?”
– If the answer is “No, I can’t” then, honey, you’ve got your answer right there.
It’s time for a major change. It may be time to just… walk away. To leave “pretty good” so that there’s room in your life for “excellent” to show up.
I know it’s hard.
I know you’re scared.
But the pain you are experiencing around this problem will not always exist.
This part is temporary.
Five years from now — even one year from now — you will look back and think,
“I can’t believe I ever settled for that.”
“Thank god I found the courage to walk away, even though it was ‘pretty good’ at the time.”
“Pretty good” is not good enough when it comes to highly important things like heart surgery… an airplane landing… and certainly not your one, precious life.
You were born for more and you can have it.
No more settling.
No more using “gratitude” as an excuse not to be brave.
Reach out and claim what you crave.
PS. Life elevates from “pretty good” to “outrageously delicious” when you take action.
A devoted coach, structured assignments and check ins, and a crowd of girlfriends cheering you along, can make all the difference.
If that sounds like the kind of party you want to attend, don’t miss my newest program: MAKE A SCENE. It’s open to 10 women and I have 2 spaces left. Secure your spot, soon, and prepare to say “goodbye” to “pretty good.”