A change of scenery.
Hello and happy Monday! This is Susan Hyatt and it’s GO time. This is episode
number 149. This is a show where we talk about goals, and courage, and going after
what you really want in life. Today we’re talking about changing the scenery.
Are you feeling like you need to get out of your small town? Your marriage? Shake things up a bit by getting a new house, a new life? Before you do… listen to this episode to hear what you might want to try FIRST!
Wanna read the full transcript? Here ya go:
Let me ask you a question.
Do you ever feel stuck, or frustrated, or bored, and you think to yourself:
“Ugh, I need a change of scenery!”
Maybe you think, “If I could move to a bigger city with more cool stuff happening, I’d be so much happier.”
Or maybe you think, “If I worked at a more inspiring company, I’d be so much happier.”
Maybe you start fantasizing about a new apartment, a new house, a new neighborhood, a new university, a new car, a new gym, a new body, maybe even a new lover. This new vision seems so much more appealing than your current reality.
And hey, whatever you’re envisioning, you can create it. Sure. Of course you can. You can leave your spouse or partner and start dating someone new. You can transfer into a new school. You can move to a more hip, happenin’ neighborhood filled with cool hipster coffee shops. You can move to a new country. You can change your hair color, change your name, change whatever you want. You can give yourself a big change of scenery.
But the funny this is, it might not change anything.
You might arrive in your new world, surrounded by all the new scenery, only to realize… “Fuck. I’m still lonely. I’m still bored. I’m still struggling to stick to my workout routine. I’m still binge-eating potato chips late at night. I’m still not making time to write my book. I’m still being inattentive with money and spending too much. I’m still dealing with the same old patterns. I’m still… me. The same ol’ me, surrounded by some new scenery.”
About 15 years ago, I was CONVINCED that I needed a change of scenery. I was sick of living in Evansville, Indiana. I was sick of being a working mom. Sick of feeling tired and stressed all the time. I was sick of being married. I was sick of my body. I was sick of pretty much everything in my life and I wanted OUT. I wanted to leave my husband and start over. Start a new life in New York City, or Paris, or Rome. I wanted to EAT PRAY LOVE the FUCK out of there.
And truly, guys, I was *THIS CLOSE* to actually doing it. I was calling divorce attorneys and planning my escape.
But my husband begged me to reconsider. He dragged me, kicking and complaining, to marriage counseling. I’m SO grateful I went to counseling, because it led to one of the biggest relations of my life.
I realized, “The scenery that needs to be changed FIRST… is not my external scenery. It’s my INNER SCENERY.”
It’s the scenery inside my mind. It’s my thoughts and beliefs. It’s my attitude. It’s my perspective. It’s the way I choose to show up inside my own life.
I realized, “Instead of moving to a brand new city, how could I shift the way my life feels right now, right here, in the city where I live?”
How could I feel happier, right here? How could I feel more liberated and free, right here? How could I feel more alive, yup, right here in ol’ Evansville?
I realized, “There’s actually a LOT of ways I could create the feelings that I crave. I don’t necessarily need to disrupt my entire life and start over from a blank page.”
What I’ve learned through my own life experiences, and through working with hundreds of clients, is that your external scenery doesn’t influence your happiness as much as you THINK it does.
You can live in the center of New York City and you can lead a boring, stagnant life—coming home from work, heating up a microwave Lean Cuisine dinner, scrolling mindlessly through Facebook and then numbing out in front of the TV until bedtime.
You can live in the suburbs of a small Midwestern city and you can lead a vibrant life—going for an energizing run every morning, having brunch with your best friend on the weekend, hosting dinner parties, drinking your favorite tea, feeling gratitude for the spring blossoms and winter snowflakes, and building an exciting business right from your laptop in your living room.
Where you live determines, oh, I don’t know, maybe 10% of your happiness. The other 90% is determined by how you live.
And I’m sorry to report, but getting divorced or having an affair with a new lover might not bring you the ecstatic happiness you crave. Instead, the real work is to fall in love wit your life right here and now—in this house, in this city, in this season. You. Here. Now.
That’s my challenge for you this week.
Whatever feeling you crave most—whether it’s freedom, joy, excitement, entertainment, connection, sisterhood, whatever it is—see if you can create MORE of that feeling in your life right here and now, without necessarily making any super dramatic changes.
Creating that feeling might be simpler and more attainable than you think.
Change your inner scenery, first. Change your attitude. Change your mindset. Change the way you flow through your day. Change the story you’re telling yourself. Start there.
It’s GO time.