Hello and welcome to the BARE Podcast!
This is your host, Susan Hyatt. This is Season Two, Episode Two.
The BARE Podcast is a show where we talk about your body and your life.
We are NOT here to talk about “dieting” or “gimmicky weight loss plans” or any of that nonsense.
We are here to talk about taking excellent care of yourself… and feeling like the QUEEN that you are. We are here to talk about self-esteem, confidence, empowerment, and feeling mentally and physically strong, whatever that looks like for you.
I am so excited for today’s episode… and we’re starting off with a really interesting question. Here… we… go!
The BIG QUESTION I’m answering today:
Today’s question comes from Gabrielle. She writes:
“Susan… Why is it so hard for me to stay CONSISTENT with exercise and eating habits? I know I’m not the only person with this problem. I can stay on track for a few days but then it’s all over. It’s SO FRUSTRATING! Uggggh. Please help.”
And here’s my answer:
This is probably the #1 question that I hear from my clients. It’s a really common frustration.
You know how the story goes… You swear to yourself, “Starting Monday, everything changes! Starting Monday, it’s a whole new life for me! Goodbye, past! Hello, future!”
And then you swear you’re going to eat nothing except for salads and skinless chicken, and you’re going to join a bootcamp fitness program and workout at 5am every morning, and you’re going to stop watching TV, and you’re gonna get 8 hours of sleep every night, and you will NEVER eat refined sugar, and EVERYTHING is going to be different.
And you stick that new program for maybe 1 day, maybe 2, maybe 1 week, and then… you lose your motivation. You backslide into old habits. Before you know it, you’re sitting in your car, inhaling Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and you’re like, “How did this haaaaappen?”
I’m happy to tell you… there’s a solution for this problem. But it’s NOT the solution you might expect.
You might think, “I just need more discipline” or “I need more willpower.” But actually, what you need is… more pleasure.
As human beings, we’re pretty simple creatures. If something feels good—if it feels pleasurable, if it feels entertaining, if it feels fun—then we WANT to do it.
Picture a little kid who loves video games.
As a parent, do you ever have to say to your kid, “Hey, it’s time to go play your video game. Please, go do it!”
Uh… nope! You NEVER have to beg, plead, or bribe that kid to play video games. That kid is going to play video games every chance she can get! She doesn’t need willpower to do it. She WANTS to do it, because those games bring her so much pleasure.
If something feels pleasurable, then you automatically, naturally WANT to do it.
Conversely, if something doesn’t feel good—if it feels unpleasurable, if it feels boring, if it feels complicated—then we DON’T want to do it.
We all want pleasure. We all crave pleasure. So, if you want to be consistent with your self-care plan, then you need to create a plan that feels really, really pleasurable.
Right now, I invite you to do some thinking, or take some notes.
Consider these questions:
- How could you make your morning routine more pleasurable?
- How could you make breakfast time more pleasurable?
- Is there any form of movement or exercise that sounds pleasurable to you?
- Could you create a special moment, somewhere in your day, that’s all about pleasure? (Like a time out, or a pleasure break?)
- How could you make your bedtime routine more pleasurable?
- How could you infuse more pleasure all throughout your day?
Your new goal is to DIAL UP the pleasure, all throughout your day.
Maybe right now, your daily routine isn’t very pleasurable. Maybe it’s like a 3 out of 10 on the pleasure scale. Can you dial it up to 9, 10… or even 11?
Maybe you want to have a quiet cup of coffee in the morning, sitting by your favorite window, reading the newspaper. Maybe that would feel really beautiful and pleasurable.
Maybe you want to take a walk through the park while listening to your favorite podcast, or your favorite music, instead of going to the gym. Maybe walking in the park would feel like a way more pleasurable form of exercise.
Maybe you want to eat lunch with a real plate and a real linen napkin, and enjoy a beautiful moment, instead of eating in front of your computer screen.
Maybe you want to add some berries and mint to your water bottle to make it beautiful.
Maybe you want to end your day wrapped in a cozy blanket with a flickering candle and a fun, sexy romance novel, instead of snacking mindlessly on potato chips. Maybe reading would bring you way more pleasure.
With every aspect of your day, try to infuse more pleasure. More, more, more. Dial it up.
When your self-care plan feels really, really pleasurable, then sticking with the plan becomes so much easier. You won’t have to FORCE yourself to do it. You will naturally WANT to do it.
I really can’t emphasize this enough… You don’t need more willpower. You need more pleasure.
This may sound like the complete opposite of what you’ve been taught in the past, but trust me, pleasure changes lives.
Most women are absolutely STARVING for pleasure, so when you start infusing more pleasure into your day, it’s amazing how it changes your mood, your energy level, and yes, your body.
Try it and see.
Our next segment is called TELL ME EVERYTHING!
This is where I chat with an amazing woman that I L-O-V-E and we have a conversation about food, feminism, fitness, sex, or… something else that I am dying to talk about. Today we’re chatting with Elizabeth DiAlto. Here we go!
About Elizabeth DiAlto:
Known for her raw, honest, and grounded approach to personal and professional development, Elizabeth DiAlto has been a teacher, leader, speaker, coach and trainer to groups and individuals for 15+ years in three different industries. She is also the host of the popular Truth Telling with Elizabeth DiAlto podcast. Her work focuses on providing companies, communities and individuals with the education we don’t get in school – primarily around trust, courageous communication, boundaries and emotional intelligence. Trust is the #1 problem people don’t know they have… Are you one of them? Take the Trust Assessment to find out AND learn the surprising correlation between trust, stress, your health and your happiness.
In this episode Elizabeth shares:
- Her journey from “fitness queen” to “embodiment queen.”
- What has changed for her the most in the last year in her thinking about body positivity.
- Her interview with Sonya Renee Taylor of The Body is Not an Apology.
- Waking up to all the other factors that are part of the body positivity conversation.
- The difference between the love of her body as a “fitness queen” and the love of her body now.
“I didn’t love my body when I was a fitness queen, I was proud of my body…but a genuine love and respect and acceptance…the bridge from pride and work to love is acceptance and trust. I trust my body right now.”
From your desktop you can skip right to her interview here! From a mobile device manually go to 6:03!
Wanna watch the interview?? Click the video below!
Today’s BARE Victory:
One of our BARE Daily members writes…
I’m focusing on social media for my environmental detox. The more I pay attention the more I realize how absolutely draining I find it. I can start out feeling good and hop on Facebook to be bombarded by political opinions, announcements of death and diagnosis, and petty dramas all without any filter. In a half an hour it can really alter my mood. It’s also just a time suck. Checking something quick, can turn into an hour lost and that’s just not how I want to spend my days. Since I use social media for work and things I enjoy, like this BARE group, I did a few things to limit my time on it.
- I took the Facebook app off my phone. I do not need 24-7 access.
- I downloaded the self control app that helps me block websites for a certain time.
- I unfriended a few people.
- I left a bunch of networking groups.
- I went back to using post planner, which lets me schedule my work posts to Facebook and Twitter without ever getting on social media.
- I claimed Instagram for myself. I unfollowed everyone who doesn’t post things that make me smile and followed only people who’s posts I love, so now when I go on… it’s my happy place full of book teasers, people I love and pics of baby goats.
WELL DONE!! If you haven’t listened to Season 1 of the BARE Podcast, we talk about Environmental Detox at length there and how important it is to curate your environment, so that what’s coming at you through your senses is positive. My BARE Daily members are KILLIN’ IT! So awesome!
PS. Check out the BARE Daily program right here. When you become a BARE DAILY member, you get daily inspiration for your body and your life. You get… Workouts. Recipes. Coaching sessions. Challenges. Prizes. Accountability to help you stay on track. Emotional support during tough moments. Kind people who will listen, who really care about you.
There’s so much awesomeness in there. BARE DAILY is truly one of the loving, most supportive corners of the entire Internet. You can get a membership for 1 month, try it out, and see how it transforms your body and your life.
Have a beautiful day—and I’ll see you in the next episode!