Recently I was chatting with someone about how my daughter wants to major in English when she goes off to college. She thinks she wants to be a fashion editor, is already a great and passionate writer, and wants to major in it – so of course I’ve got her back. But all this person wanted to talk about is how she should be ready to make no money if she chooses that career path.
Even though I corrected this person right away, it reminded me of the English 101 teacher who told me I would never be a successful writer – the one who’s comments kept me from my love of writing for years and years. The sad thing is, this person probably had their dreams stepped on at some point in their life, too – but that’s no excuse for cutting other people down. If we all let other people’s opinions keep us from pursuing and realizing our dreams, the world would be a very sad place!
In this week’s episode, I’m talking about defying reality and being brave enough to dream big. I’ll tell you about how my life and family have changed over the years since we decided to stop trying so hard to be perfect and leaned waaaay into dreaming big and chasing the things we love. And I’ll offer you some advice for dealing with dream-crushers and how you can support your friends and family who want to defy reality, too.
Welcome to the Rich Coach Club, the podcast that teaches you how to build your dream coaching practice and how to significantly increase your income. If you’re a coach and you’re determined to start making more money, this show is for you. I’m master certified life coach Susan Hyatt, and I’m psyched for you to join me on this journey.
You’re listening to an episode on defying reality. Here we go. Alright people, our culture seriously has an addiction to cynically trying to bring people down to reality. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. People who encourage you to just be reasonable, play it safe, people who love you but maybe they project their own fears onto you.
I call it the lobster in a pot syndrome, and you’ll hear a lot more about that in today’s episode. Recently, I posted an experience that I had at a nail salon. So I was flying out of town to Portland, Oregon to take my daughter Cora to college. And I popped into this nail salon that I normally don’t go to because I couldn’t get a last-minute appointment at my regular place.
And I literally was getting just my nails done, not the pedicure too. Quickly, before I hopped on a plane. And so the nail tech started asking me who I was, where was I going, all that sort of stuff. And in conversation, it came up that I was hopping a plane to take Cora to Portland, Oregon and he said well, what’s her major? And I said English. She thinks she wants to be a fashion editor right now. She’s a great writer, I’m really excited for her.
And he snarkly replied as he was buffing my nails, well, I guess that’s great, as long as she doesn’t mind not eating. It’s a fine major then. And I looked at him and I said, you know actually, I’m a writer and I do quite well. Writers can make plenty of money. In fact, let me tell you about my 25-year-old copywriter client who’s making multiple six figures.
Well, as you can imagine, he got quiet real fast. And I had compassion for him though because I know that that was probably rooted in his losing sight and track of his own dream somewhere along the way. But listen up people, whether someone shamed you for your big dreams or you didn’t quite go for your big dreams, we have to stop telling other people, especially young people that they can’t make money doing what they love because it’s just not true.
Telling someone else that their dream isn’t possible just really says where your state of mind is. A limited world view, personal fears, lack of business skills. Just because we don’t know how to do it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. And hey, if you’re someone who listened to a negative, jaded authority figure in the past, it’s not too late for you.
Hey, I stopped writing at the age of 18 because I had an English 101 professor tell me that I would never make it as a writer. And she was wrong, but I didn’t start writing again until I was about 33 years old and I had this magical thing on my website called a blog. There’s a mysterious magic that allows us to dream, so don’t stifle your creative ability to do that and don’t ever doubt that you can do the hard things required to make your dream a reality.
So when I posted about this on Instagram and Facebook, the comments from so many of you broke my heart because just like me when I stopped writing at 18 because someone who I thought knew better than me told me not to, many of you stopped pursuing what was a fire in your belly for something more practical, something more reasonable.
There was someone who wanted to be a Broadway star who’s an accountant and miserable. Somebody who just wanted to paint but is a nurse instead, and writers who opted to take a safe job but who hate it. On today’s episode, listen, you got me all to yourself. there’s no interview segment. It’s just me. But we’re going to dive into this and I’m going to give you some things to think about and how to not be a lobster in a pot, how to be a lovster instead.
So as always, we’re starting with a segment that I call your two-minute pep talk. And this is the part of the show where I share some motivation and encouragement to get your week started off right. And I try to keep things to two minutes or less.
So we’ve been talking about coming down to reality or not, and I was going through some old photos because today, as I’m recording this, it’s Cora’s 19th birthday. So I was going through all these old family photos trying to find some cute pics of her, which isn’t hard from when she was little. And I came across a Christmas photo from 2007 and oh my gosh you guys, when I looked at it, I was like, is this the cover of a Lands’ End catalogue?
Not really, but close. I mean, that’s what the Hyatt family portrait looked like all those years ago. I remember posing for that photo, obsessing over getting every touch of it just right. The matching outfits, the perfect smiles, the lighting, the image of tranquility and unblemished domesticity.
Now hey, there’s nothing wrong with matching turtlenecks and beige carpeting if that’s genuinely your thing, but it wasn’t my thing and it was a lie that I imposed upon myself. An image that I thought I had to sustain. And it was exhausting.
And here we are today, the Hyatt riot family today, there are a few subtle differences if you look at a group picture of us now. When I look at us then and think about us now, like look at family photos side by side, I’m amazed at how much we’ve transformed as a family. Going from a mom who wanted to keep things safe and secure and following a normal path – I’m using air quotes.
To who we are today, living out loud. Not just on a surface level. Not just the clothes, the hairstyles, the accessories, but on a deep level too. Because back before I started by coaching practice, my dreams were pretty small. I just wanted to keep running a successful real estate business even though I hated it, and just keep my life looking perfect even though on the inside, I was miserable.
And back then, that felt like as far as I could really allow myself to dream. And today of course, if you’ve been listening to this podcast or follow me on social media or have recently read my book, you know my dreams are big and they’re growing wilder and wilder.
I work as a life coach and a motivational speaker, and I wrote my second book Bare, that was published in March, and I’m writing the next one. I’ve co-created so many programs, I dress really differently. I just dyed my hair platinum. I wear bikinis with no shame. All those years ago, no way. And my kids, Cora and Ryan, they’re both in college, which gives them of course a huge amount of freedom.
They’ve traveled the world with me, Cora plays musical instruments, she’s a writer, she’s a social justice warrior, and Ryan, I mean, he’s obsessed with Muay Thai and boxing and photography and he’s actually written his own first novel, although he hasn’t done anything with it yet. Not that he needs to, but he’s still figuring some things out.
And the silver fox. The silver fox, you guys, over the past couple of years has taken up a brand-new hobby of race car driving. He rebuilt this Datsun all himself and travels around racing this car. I’m so proud of him. So in addition to living his dream of commercial real estate, he’s living his dream that he always had of being a race car driver. How cool is that?
So listen, our worlds are not picture perfect. It’s messy and fun and amazing and imbalanced in a good way, and it feels that way because now I allow myself to dream limitlessly. So if you find yourself chronically unhappy or unsatisfied, even after hitting your biggest goals, I have a message for you. You might be dreaming too small.
So start dreaming at a different level. Dream big. Dream beyond. Challenge yourself to dream into the realm of wonder, amazingness, and what-if-ness. And then take one tiny turtle step forward. Make a move, set the dream in motion, and keep moving because one day, you’re going to look around, you’re going to look at former pictures of yourself like I did and look at what’s happening in the current reality and be like wow, I am living a dream that back then I didn’t even know was possible. Pep talk complete.
So now, we’re moving into the part of the show where I give shout-outs to you; shout-outs to listeners, clients, all the wonderful people in my business community. And today I want to give a shout-out to Andrea. So Andrea left me a five-star review on Stitcher and she said, “So amazing. If you know Susan Hyatt’s work, you already know that this is probably amazing, but seriously, this is even better than you can imagine.
I usually don’t choose to listen to interview podcasts as I often find the guests to be hit or miss, and there’s an awkward interaction between the two people. But every single episode is gold. I’ve already starred them all to listen to over and over again. I can’t get enough of how fun and inspiring both Susan and her guests are. If my energy is blah, I feel so revved up and empowered after listening.”
Oh my gosh, Andrea, that means so much to me. That’s the first time someone has talked about the show in that way. And I am super proud of the guests that I bring on to the show. I have pretty high standards. And I want to protect your ears and make sure that what you’re listening to does rev you up and does motivate and inspire you, so that means a lot to me.
So hey, if you have something to say about this show, send an email to my team at firstname.lastname@example.org or post a five-start review on iTunes, Stitcher, anywhere you listen to this podcast, or you can tag me on social media and you might hear your name on a future episode because I love giving shout-outs to people in my community. So holler at me. Thank you for the love and I love you right back.
Okay, so on today’s episode, we’ve been talking about dreaming big and also not projecting fears on to other people or allowing other people’s fears to impact you. And I’d like to think that human beings are slightly more evolved than bright red crustaceans, but the truth is sometimes, we all behave like sea bugs in a pot of boiling water.
I’m talking about lobsters. This is kind of a cruel analogy, but you know, when you put lobsters in a pot, if one of them tries to crawl out of the pot, the other ones clamp them down and push them back into the boiling water. And human beings do the same thing.
When we see a woman demanding a higher salary and say something like, well, who does she think she is? And we see a woman celebrating her body, sharing bikini pics on social media and think, ugh, what an attention whore. Or we might see a woman taking big brave steps to get her business off the ground and people have just got to knock her down a peg and say something like you realize that eight out of 10 businesses fail in the first 18 months, right? What’s your backup plan?
Okay, maybe your lobster thoughts aren’t quite as bitter as those, but I know you’ve seen it online and I know you’ve heard it among chit-chats with your friends. Maybe you’re kinder and more encouraging at least when you’re watching other people climb on their way up to happiness and success. Maybe your lobster thoughts are self-directed, self-inflicted.
Maybe you pull yourself right down into the boiling water whenever you sense that you’re getting just a little too close to freedom. Whether your joy-killing thoughts are directed outwards or inwards, they’re equally harmful, so don’t be a lobster. Be a lovster.
Give your friends a lift right up, right over the lip of that pot. Share when they make it, learn from their climbing techniques. Give yourself a lift too. Surround yourself with nice, encouraging lobsters who love you, who want to see you succeed, not keep you paralyzed or kill your dreams. With loving thoughts, words, and actions for ourselves and for others we can all climb out of this damn pot together, yo.
So thank you for listening to today’s episode. There are 112 days left of the year on the day this episode first broadcasts. 112 days, y’all. What are you going to do to finish strong? Because I know that there are dreams and sales and business to be profited from in your realm.
So if you’re looking for a community of lovsters who genuinely want to see you thrive and succeed, then get your butt over to the Rich Coach Club Facebook group and sign up for my Finish Strong event that’s happening in San Diego, October 4th through the 6th. Get on over to Rich Coach Club because we’re actually running a pitch clinic where I’m going to help you pitch and bring in sales to finish strong for the rest of the year.
Thank you for listening to Susan Hyatt’s Rich Coach Club. If you enjoyed today’s show, please head over to shyatt.com/cash where you’ll find my brand-new money magazine. Now listen, we designed this magazine to be entertaining, educational, and help you make serious bank.
So you can download the magazine, there’s a money quiz inside, there’s an interview with one of my favorite clients who went from making no money and being served eviction papers, to making over six figures in a very short amount of time. So the magazine includes that feature, lots of resources to help you do it, lots of resources about creating wealth and investing money.
It’s pretty robust, y’all. So head over to shyatt.com/cash to get that magazine. And you’ll also find a link to join my free Facebook community, especially for coaches called Rich Coach Club. So bring your coaching practice and your income to the next level at shyatt.com. See you next week.