Hello and happy Monday! This is Susan Hyatt and it’s GO time. This is episode number 129.
In this episode we’re talking about this viral video that’s been going around the Internet lately by Glori B. called “Damn, Girl.” We’re talking about how you were born to SHINE, not be meek, quiet, and apologetic.
Wanna read the full transcript? Here ya go:
If you are new to this show, hello and welcome! This is a show where we talk about goals, and courage, and going after what you really want in life.
I drop a new episode every Monday to get your week started off right.
OK, people. There’s this viral video that’s been going around the Internet lately and it is AMAZING. It’s a woman named Glori B. She’s a poet. It’s a video of her performing one of her poems at an event in Texas. The poem is called “Damn, Girl.” Google it. “Damn, Girl” by Glori B.
Stop your world. Stop everything. Go watch it right now.
And then… let’s discuss.
I am obsessed with this video for so many reasons. Oh, let me count the ways…
Firstly, Glori B. is such a self-assured, powerful woman and she totally OWNS that stage.
As you’ll see when you watch the video, this is a poem about Glori’s experiences as a big, heavy woman.
She talks about how people perceive her. How people talk about her. How people assume she must feel ashamed of her weight. Except… surprise twist! She doesn’t feel ashamed. She loves herself, and she’s unapologetically confident. She wants EVERY woman to feel the confidence that she feels.
There’s one part in the poem that got me nodding at my computer screen. She says:
“They say confidence is sexy, but then they call you ‘vain’ if you dare to smile at the sight of your body naked in the mirror. Fuck humble. Vanity is only a sin because a woman who believes she deserves good things is harder to commodify. Humility is the virtue we were taught to keep us quiet.”
I can relate to this so, so deeply. It’s so true.
As a woman, we’re constantly taught all of these contradictory things.
We’re taught, “Be confident! Men LOVE confident women!” but also, “Well, not TOO confident. Don’t be arrogant.”
We’re told, “Love yourself! Enjoy your body! Your body is a miracle!” but also, “Well, don’t enjoy your body TOO much. That’s vain and conceited.”
Glori B.’s poem reminds me of a passage written by the feminist writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, ‘You can have ambition—but not too much. You should aim to be successful—but not too successful.’”
I’ve seen this pattern play out in my own life… so many times.
For example, eleven years ago, after I quit my job, and started my own business, and made some big changes in my personal life, I felt a thousand times happier.
My life was filled with new experiences and projects. My stress levels dropped tremendously. I lost weight. I had so much more energy. I started taking really good care of myself. I started to glow from the inside out. My confidence grew and grew.
And you know what one friend said to me? She said, “I liked you better… back then. The way you used to be. I like the ‘old’ Susan more.”
Can you believe that? She felt threatened by the new me, and the new way I was living, and she actually PREFERRED being my friend back when I was meek, quiet, and exhausted all the time. Back when I didn’t believe in myself. Back when I didn’t believe that I deserved nice things and nice experiences.
Now, obviously, that’s not a true friend. But this is indicative of a pattern that I’ve seen countless times.
When a woman REALLY decides to shine, and pursue her dreams, and love her body, and enjoys her life… some people feel REALLY threatened and some people REALLY don’t like it.
You know what?
And FUCK humble.
You were not born to be meek, quiet, and apologetic.
You were born to SHINE like the sun.
I want you to remember that.
And I want you to wear your most glittery outfit. And show off your legs if you want to. And show off your hips and your stomach. And put on your red lipstick. And write your damn book. And raise your hourly rate. And apply for a grant. Or a promotion. And get your PhD. And file the paperwork to patent your brilliant invention. And go to Hawaii and wear a bikini at ANY age and ANY size. Whatever you want to do… do it, and do it with joy and confidence.
And I know you’d probably NEVER do this, BUT… if you happen to catch yourself belittling or shaming a fellow woman because she’s daring to shine brightly, STOP YOURSELF. Do NOT post that snarky comment. Do NOT try to knock her down a few pegs. Do NOT whisper to your friends about how fat she has gotten, or how skinny, or how she’s so full of herself these days, blah blah blah. And for the love of God, do NOT tell her to “be humble.”
As women, we have GOT to support one another and cheer for each other, not tear each other down.
One woman shining brightly doesn’t steal anything away from you, and it doesn’t mean that YOU can’t shine brightly, too.
One woman shining brightly simply means… the world becomes a brighter place for ALL OF US.
Hell YES to that.
And hell NO to humble.
It’s GO time.