Rich Coach Club

RCC 54: How to Lift Up Other Women In Business with Dr. Melissa Bird

If you’re a woman in the world, you’ve undoubtedly faced some nasty criticism in your life – both online and off. And even more disheartening, many times this criticism comes from other women. What’s the deal, ladies?

As women, we’re taught from an early age to compete with each other, to criticize and cut down other women. This conditioning has another awful side effect: we internalize all the bad things we say and think about other women, and we sit in our own shame and low self-worth because we believe these things about ourselves, too. It’s no wonder the patriarchy likes to keep us distracted with this stuff – it keeps us playing small and too scared to pursue our biggest ideas. And we’re buying into it and perpetuating the cycle!

It doesn’t have to be this way. We can choose to uplift and encourage other women instead, and band together to create the world we want to see. Our guest Dr. Melissa Bird is a huge advocate for this kind of community-building, and she’s here to give us a reality check about what happens when women cut each other down.

Dr. Melissa Bird is a PhD and Master of Social Work, passionate feminist, and social justice advocate. She’s also an author, speaker, coach, and rebel, and today we’re talking about how women in business can lift each other up.

We talk about why so many women have bought into the idea that we have to be mean to each other and why we have to stop this behavior if we want to collectively rise. We discuss the blaming, shaming, and self-sabotage that we engage in even in small groups of women, and chat about how this cycle keeps women distracted. Missy and I also talk about what you can do to encourage and support other women around you and how to trust divine guidance and your own great ideas.

If there’s something you’d love me to talk about on Rich Coach Club, email me at [email protected] with the subject line Rich Coach Club and let me know!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How women criticizing each other reinforces the patriarchy.
  • Why women are taught to judge and complain about other women.
  • How women in business can support each other and lift each other up.
  • Why women often don’t act on their great ideas.
  • How to tell if your big idea is divine guidance or your mind playing tricks on you.
  • Three things you can do right away to start building community with other women.

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Full Episode Transcript:

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Welcome to the Rich Coach Club, the podcast that teaches you how to build your dream coaching practice and how to significantly increase your income. If you’re a coach and you’re determined to start making more money, this show is for you. I’m master certified life coach Susan Hyatt, and I’m psyched for you to join me on this journey.

Did you guys catch the VMAs? Oh my gosh, you may not be into award shows, but I love to watch them to watch the strong female performers. And this year was no joke. So if you’re not currently turned on to the amazing performer who is Lizzo, you need to first of all, Google Lizzo, watch every video she’s ever made.

We’ll put links in the show notes because Lizzo just being in the world helps me shine brighter. She took the stage in force with, I don’t know, 20 to 30 backup dancers, and they just totally rocked the stage. What Lizzo does is she shows up in a way inhabiting her body with such fierceness and positivity.

She literally is the Bare poster child. I love her because she is every bit of confidence that a woman needs to be. So go check out her performance. we’ll link it in the show notes. But people, this is the kind of energy that we also need to be bringing to our businesses.

So you’re probably listening to this podcast because you want to run a successful coaching practice, or you’re some sort of online entrepreneur who wants to make more money. Lizzo is a great role model for this because not only does she rock her art as a performer, but she is an amazing entrepreneur.

So if you want to have tons of clients, a wait list, your PayPal chimes loud, then you can’t be toning it down. And Lizzo teaches us to turn it up. Also on the VMAs, the show host made a joke that there was so much rivalry in the audience that the seating chart was a nightmare. And I laughed, but then after thinking about it for a minute, I’m like, how sad?

The internet streets, the business streets can sometimes feel like that where women are clawing at one another, tearing each other down, ridiculing or criticizing one another. If it’s not for appearance then it’s for what we stand for. And I’ve always aimed to be a woman in business who advocates for other women and this episode is really about how can you show up as a woman in business who supports other women.

How can you be a woman in business who shows up fully and shines so bright that you give permission to others to rock their thing? This is what we’re going to discuss on today’s episode and I hope that listening to this show just lights you on fire in the best way possible. So now let’s get into your two-minute pep talk.

Here’s your two-minute pep talk and this is the part of the show where I share some encouragement and inspiration to get your week started off right. And I try to keep things to two minutes or less. So for today’s pep talk, I’m going to read you something that I wrote called the Bare manifesto.

So if you’re new to my world or you’re new to Rich Coach Club, or even if you’ve been hanging out around Rich Coach Club for a while, you may not be familiar with my Bare work, which is all about helping a woman feel amazing in the skin that she’s in. And this is actually critical for business.

When I work with female entrepreneurs, 99% of the time some of the energy leak work that we do is around how she deals with food and body issues because we’re so steeped in diet culture from birth that it affects everything that we do. It affects our relationships and it for sure affects our business.

Women in business tend to shy away from the spotlight because of body issues. So I’m going to read you the Bare manifesto and I want to also direct you to the show notes because we beautifully designed the manifesto. If you want to print it out, hang it up, I think it’s great inspiration to have in front of you. Heck, make it your screen saver on your computer.

Alright, here we go. We say no to obsessing about food and we say yes to savoring our food. We say no to exercising to punish ourselves for what we ate, and we exercise to celebrate what our bodies can do. We say no to postponing important experiences until some day later when we’re skinnier, and we say yes to chasing after big goals and scheduling exciting dates, vacations, and experiences right now.

We say no to shaming ourselves and other women for being too sexy or wearing clothes that are too revealing. And we say yes to expressing our sexuality and showing off our bodies any damn way we want. We say no to waiting for someone else to make the first move and we say yes to creating our own permission slip.

We say no to making excuses about why it’s unrealistic or too late and we say yes to creating what we crave. Making art, making a difference, in making our time count. We say no to tearing down other women for being too fit, too rich, too happy, or too successful, and we say yes to celebrating other women’s success and screaming yes as we watch and cheer.

We say no to teaching our daughters to be obedient, to be thin and pretty at any cost, and to make their bodies smaller. And we say yes to teaching our daughters to be brave, to aim for the sky, to make a scene, and to make their goals even bigger. We say no to filling life with tedious, unnecessary obligations and we say yes to filling life with all kinds of fun, beauty, and pleasure.

We say no to nitpicking and criticizing our bodies. And we say yes to respecting and enjoying our bodies. We say no to hiding in the back row, covering up and opting out. And we say yes to standing in the front row, dropping the shield, being all in. We say hell no to starting on Monday and we say yes to starting today. Pep talk complete.

Now, we’re moving into the part of the show where I give shout-outs to you; shout-outs to listeners, clients, all the wonderful people in my business community. And today, I want to give a shout-out to KD Houston. So KD left me a five-star review on Stitcher and it’s entitled “the best way to start your week.”

“I look forward to Monday mornings because I know I’m going to get a healthy dose of butt-kicking inspo from Susan Hyatt and her guests on the Rich Coach Club Podcast. What a great way to start the week, and Susan’s sense of humor and down to earth delivery makes me feel like I’m having a conversation with one of my best friends. Highly recommend it.”

KD, thank you. I am talking with one of my best friends. All of you. So that’s my shout-out for today. And hey, if you have something to say about the show, please send us an email at shyatt.com or post a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher or wherever you listen to this podcast episode and you might hear your name on a future episode. I love giving shout-outs to you guys, so holla at me. Thank you for the love. I love you right back.

Yes, it’s time for an interview, and today I am speaking with the illuminating Dr. Melissa Bird. So Missy is an amazing woman. I was introduced to her through the glory of social media on Facebook because one of our mutual friends saw that we both posted quite a bit about Beyoncé and Hilary Clinton, and she was like hey, you two need to meet, and it was a match made in Facebook heaven.

So Dr. Bird is a PhD, MSW and she’s a passionate feminist who’s worked in social work and has led an amazing career advocating for children and women and their families. She is a fierce believe in social justice advocacy and she helps prepare women for leadership roles throughout their communities.

She is a coach, she is a fiery public speaker, she’s an author, she has a brand-new book out I want to tell you about later in this episode. And she really works to awaken revolutionaries and trailblazers and powerful innovators like you guys. I can’t wait for you to meet her and learn from her, so here we go.

Susan: Welcome to the podcast, Dr. Missy Bird.

Dr. Bird: Thank you so much, Susan Hyatt. It is a pleasure to be here.

Susan: So I am so excited that you are finally on the podcast because as you know, I have been a fan of yours forever, since we met for the first time in Scotland.

Dr. Bird: Scotland was a game-changer.

Susan: It certainly was, and I have been impressed with everything that you’ve done and I’m curious, if had thousands of people lined up, which I do on this podcast, and you had one thing to tell these listeners, what would it be?

Dr. Bird: It would be that I truly believe that the reason the patriarchy continues to survive is because women have gotten so invested in shaming other women for their choices and for the decisions that they make that we have forgotten how to be connected in a sisterhood. And it is my goal to dismantle the mean girl’s idea that we have to continue to criticize each other for our choices and our decisions.

Susan: Oh my god, say it louder for the people not listening. All y’all on your Peloton double tasking, you better stop it right now and listen up. I love this so much because I mean, as you know, on a daily basis, it really doesn’t matter what kind of Facebook or Instagram ad I’m running. I get pushback from women in one way or another. It could be about how I look, it could be about what I’m saying, it could be about the choices I’m making.

And so it’s fascinating to observe what happens in the online world. Of course, we know it’s happening everywhere, but what do you – in your work, what do you think for women in business, they need to pay attention to and how can they help each other?

Dr. Bird: I think for women in business in particular, and I see this a lot in the groups that I run and in the groups that I’m a part of. We create these smaller spaces where – especially in our mastermind groups where there’s 10 of us, where we come together with the idea of supporting each other and connecting with each other. Then we go back and do this compare and shame and blame game with the people that are in those groups.

Well, I’m not as far ahead as her in my business, or oh my god, I’m not doing it right because I’m not doing what she’s doing, so I need to redo everything. And that takes us out of integrity with who we are as business owners. I’ve had this conversation a lot with a couple of coaching friends of mine. When I’ve been in my own internalized shame game where I’ve been like, but I’m just saying what everybody else is saying.

And I’ve had a couple of my coach friends say, no you’re not. You’re taking these concepts and these ideas but you’re giving them the Dr. Melissa Bird spin and that’s what we need is your voice to connect to your people so that you can help those women rise and not just survive, but thrive. And I think that that is the place where women in business in particular, I’ve seen them get stuck in this nobody is going to want to hear what I have to say.

Well, that’s not true. There is a chunk of humans that really do want to hear what you have to say but we have been trained as women that the default is not hell yeah, I’m rising like a phoenix and I am going. We get told to be humble when we talk like that. So instead, we get these great ideas, like these banner visions, like these divine downloads of awesome shit and then we go, I can’t do anything with that because nobody will like it. Fuck that. That is bullshit. That is not true. Yes you can, and in fact, you should because when it comes like that, that is god and the universe talking and you have to listen. You have no choice.

Susan: So what happens – and I love this because I think you’re spot on here. Women get amazing ideas and then they don’t do anything with them because of fear, and women will say hey, I see what happens online. I don’t want to deal with any of that. And you’re saying hey, you must act on divine guidance. Let’s talk a little bit about what happens if people don’t. If women don’t listen to the guidance that they’re receiving, what do you notice happens?

Dr. Bird: I notice that they stay in either jobs or relationships that do not serve their highest good and make them feel miserable. I’ve seen them get into cycles where they think they have one more thing to learn, and listen, I am the queen of this. I have a flipping PhD. And I remember actually Susan, when you said you know, you really need to be a coach and I was like oh no, I’m not going back to school for another damn thing. And you’re like, what are you talking about? You have a PhD. You can coach. You have a PhD in social work. You can really coach.

And so we think we have one more thing we have to do to be the perfect vessel to deliver information. And what we don’t realize is that simply by being inspired by the messages that we’re receiving, if we just took courage to say okay, I want to do this, I don’t know what this looks like but I’m going to self-publish a book just because I have these words I’ve got to get out of me, or I’m going to start writing a blog, or I’m going to start selling all of these clothes I’ve been hoarding for 10 years on eBay. Whatever it is,  if we don’t do that thing, we stay small and we stay limited in our potential, and we stay in relationships, friendships, sisterhood circles that are toxic instead of giving us life. And I’ve seen it over and over with my clients.

Susan: Same, and I think an interesting point here is then that creates fuel to the negative cycle of then judging other women because when you’re not listening to your own guidance, and you’re stuck in a place that no longer fits for you, to let off steam what women tend to do is fall back on emotional manipulation, which we’re taught is our currency, as well as our looks.

So emotional manipulation and currency are what the patriarchy want us to think is our power, when that’s not it at all. So it’s like okay, what I notice is when – and this was certainly true for me personally, when I ignored my brilliance, when I ignored my natural gifts and talents, when I stayed in a state of confusion instead of learning how to become the woman I was meant to become, I was doing all kinds of things to cope with it. That’s what led me to overspend, that’s what led me to overeat, that’s what led me to be overly critical, that’s what led me to fall out of gratitude, all those things.

Dr. Bird: Well, and I think that that is the key to keeping women in their place. As long as we default to the things that keep us small and keep us stuck, for me, it’s over-drinking. So for me, it’s I can put down a bottle of whiskey with no question, which is highly destructive because then I don’t remember what I’m saying or what I’m doing. And so for me, that was where I was headed towards, and I had to be like, wow, what kind of shit are you trying to avoid, Missy Bird?

By drinking a bottle of whiskey a week – that’s not in a day. That’s not okay. And what happened Susan, was that I really finally realized not just through your coaching but through watching all of these other people run their businesses and connecting with all these women who were really inspiring is I started to think what would happen if Joan of Arc would have been like, you know what god, I hear what you’re saying about this little revolution thing, but I’m just going to sit here in the nunnery and not listen to what it is you’re going to say.

What would have happened if Harriet Tubman would have been like, god, thank you so much for telling me that I need to save the slaves, but for now I’m just going to keep picking cotton. What would have happened? If women do not listen to their divine calling when it comes, we don’t get to lead revolution. We don’t get to give our families every single thing that our families deserve from us. Like a happy mom, or a happy wife, or a happy partner. We don’t get to give those things. That is a revolution. That is a rebellion in and of its own.

And so I made a list of all the women that inspire me. I mean, what would have happened if Michelle Obama would have said you know what, I see you stuck me with this guy Barack, but he goes off on these walkabouts and he does this writing and he wants to be the president, I’m not in that game. What would have happened? I mean…

Susan: I know. It’s fascinating and Cora and I – my daughter Cora, we were talking about what if I had just stayed in real estate and not listened to the signs for me and how that would have affected probably our entire family. And it was a really interesting conversation because she was like, wow – my kids will say things like remember when you weren’t happy? They remember. They remember they were whatever they were, five and seven.

Remember when you used to yell. Remember when – and we were talking about what would it have been like to grow up with that woman as your mom instead of who I became? And I think that the other thing is that women ignore their call because they sometimes will use the excuse of what it might do to their family if they become who they’re really supposed to be. And it’s like, dude, what it’s going to do to your family if you don’t is tragedy.

Dr. Bird: And what’s really, really interesting about that is sometimes your family is going to have a hard time coming along to the game. So I mean, in my world, my family has a really hard time coming along for the game. My kids don’t. My husband does. He’s like, pulling back. He’s just like, I don’t understand what you’re doing, and I’m like, you don’t have to. You just have to come along with me for the ride.

And I think it’s really important for women to remember that as long as they’re following that call of their heart and they are really going in that direction, everybody’s going to come along with them eventually. It might be harder than you want it to be, but you know, there’s that old saying, anything worth doing isn’t easy. Sometimes, there’s a little bit of a struggle and that’s because there’s this push and pull, especially if we as women are changing who we are and how we think about ourselves.

That’s highly destructive because we have been trained and our partners have been trained that we are supposed to act a certain way. And if we don’t, then we’re not playing the game. That is why I continue – I can’t even imagine if I had gone along the tenure track and gotten stuck in some university teaching four classes and doing research. My whole soul would have died I think because my purpose in getting a PhD was not to do that. My purpose to get a PhD was to be the global ambassador for women’s issues in the state department.

And so that was my goal. We have to get the state department. That position is gone now, but we have to get it back and that will happen eventually because I know it will because it’s what I’m supposed to do. But my kids have watched me along this trajectory and they are inspired by me because even when it’s hard and I cry and I’m like, I don’t even know how to run a business, I guess I’ve got to learn how to run a business now, even when I’m going through all these shifts and changes, I’ve seen this in my clients a thousand times.

When they just take that little tiny risk and it doesn’t take much. That little tiny action, like maybe they just post a post on Facebook that says hey guys, I want you to know I’m doing this thing and I’ve decided to start writing again. People are like, that’s amazing. We love your writing. That’s awesome. And the people that say well, that’s dumb, why are you doing that, those aren’t your real friends.

Susan: I saw somebody posted a quote on my page that said hey, when someone tells you they’re excited about something and you tell them it’s dumb, you’re the worst kind of person. It’s so true. If you share your goals and ambitions and people aren’t supportive, those aren’t the people to trust with your goals and vision.

Dr. Bird: Not only are they not the people to trust with your goals and vision, but they also teach you how to self-protect in the face of adversity. How to navigate terrain that you’re unsure of and how to surmount obstacles. They’re your biggest lessons. Your biggest lessons are the people in your life who are like, I don’t think you can do that.

And if you can sit back and go well, that’s interesting, even if it’s your mom. Sometimes my mom has been so afraid of me getting hurt that she has tried to keep me stuck and in my place. I look at her and go you know what, here’s the thing. I’m not going to humble myself. I have a lot of things to say and they’re really controversial, and some people can’t stand the stuff that I say but I have to say it because somewhere out there, there is a woman that needs to hear this message. And if I can continue to listen to that calling of my heart versus all of these people who want me to keep playing small, then I will somehow or another, dismantle the patriarchy and move on with my life.

Susan: So let me ask you this. When women hear their own brilliance or divine guidance, the question I get over and over again, and I would love to hear how you would respond to this is how do you know if it’s divine guidance or just your mind playing tricks on you?

Dr. Bird: This is such a good question. So the way I have experienced it and the way I have watched other women I have worked with experience it is there is a difference between being nauseated in your stomach and feeling gross, and having butterflies in your stomach and feeling turned on. So there’s like a chemical reaction. Like, when you know it’s right, your body, it almost tingles. It feels like a really great kiss. You can tell that it’s the way you have to go.

When it feels gross and nauseating and yucky, that’s your head. That’s your ego. That’s your mean girl inside saying you should. It’s like a shitty should. Like you should be doing this. That’s not the direction. And the other way is you will hear messages from random people that are not in any way connected in any shape or form.

And so you will hear someone say you know, I really loved it when you talked about this, can you talk about that more? And I will get that all the time from random people and all of a sudden, I’ve got three DMs in my inbox and they’re like hey, could you talk some more about this? And I’m like, I don’t even remember talking about that. And that’s the other way you know.

Sometimes you’ll be having conversations with people and you won’t remember what you’re saying, but they will come back to you and say god, that was really amazing when you said that. Can you talk more about that? You’ll be like wow, that’s genius. I said that? That’s awesome. So I think a lot of times we get these messages and we get these feelings in our body and they feel really good, but we have been automatically trained now to listen to that intuition and listen to our brain instead, and that’s not how this works. Your brain is your mortal enemy.

Susan: Well, I think it’s interesting because I often say that when guidance that’s good for you is coming through for you is very simple and your mind speaks in paragraphs, and so it’s like if your brain is going on and on and on and on, it’s probably from ego. And also, subtle nuanced differences in a body compass reading on divine guidance and mind tricks, and sometimes guidance can be scary, but it still feels expansive, as opposed to restrictive.

Dr. Bird: I think that’s why the work you’re doing to get women back into their bodies and feel their bodies is so critical. It’s why I do this work of teaching women how to engage in rebellion and really tap back into that instinct to take action because if you’re tapped into that and you can feel your body and you can feel that feeling, you learn to know the difference. And it doesn’t take that long to learn the difference.

I mean, it takes a long time to undo – mine are monologues. I don’t know why you’re just got paragraphs. I have some that can go on for an hour in my head. Like it’s a damn monologue happening. But it takes a while to take apart the ego and tell it to – learn how to tell that to be quiet, but you learn really easily and you’re right about that simplicity. It is so simple. Oh, it’s that easy? Oh okay, I guess I’ll just do that because that sounds easy. But we think we have to over-complicate it because our brain says well, this has to be more difficult. I can’t understand why you are making this so easy.

Susan: Right. So let’s say that – I want to get back to this concept that I agree with wholeheartedly that women attacking other women’s choices is in the playbook of the patriarchy. So when we all say smash the patriarchy, but the next hour you’re tearing down your sister on Instagram, those two things do not work well together. So let’s talk about things that women can do, behaviors that need to stop, and things that women can do to support one another so that a rising tide lifts all boats.

Dr. Bird: I think there’s a couple of things that women can do to stop shaming other women for their choices. One of them is when you get ready to say oh my god, I can’t believe you did that, take a deep breath and think, what is it about what she has done that makes me jealous that she had the guts to do it?

Like, what is it about her image she put on Instagram or what she just typed, or her willingness to go out and run her own business, or the fact that she left her partner after 20 years and I’ve really been wanting to do the same thing, but instead I’m going to be like, how dare you leave your husband of 20 years? Even if we know it was the most toxic relationship in the world, we still – our default is to criticize before we support and lift up.

And so to really kind of take a big deep breath and sit back and say why is my first inclination to attack? And our first inclination of women to attack is because we are trained to do that. And because if we continue to eat at each other, we’re not paying attention to what men are doing to take away our bodily autonomy or our ability to feed our kids, or the school lunch program.

There’s a million things we don’t pay attention to when we’re busy bitching about whether or not Susan Hyatt is active on Instagram. I mean, honestly, and I have had this experience. My most profound experience with this has been with women who don’t agree with me politically.

So I am connected – I guess I consider myself a moderate. Most conservatives consider me a liberal, but I consider myself to be moderate. And in my conversations with women who are conservative, they can’t understand why I would be willing to talk to them about difficult subjects like abortion and gun rights and education and LGBT issues. They’re like, why do you want to talk to me about this?

We have to come together as women, no matter what our political affiliation is. If we don’t start having difficult and complicated conversations about what our lives really look like behind closed doors, we are going to continue to shame and blame each other, and men are going to continue to pass policies that ruin our family’s lives no matter where we fall on the political spectrum.

They’re talking about eliminating school lunch programs. Those are the ways that if a kid can’t eat, a kid can’t think. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, as a woman who cares about community, that has to be something that we are interested in. But if we get caught up in shaming each other for not having enough money to feed our kids because look at me, I can go to the grocery store. What the hell is your problem? That’s how we remain distracted.

So we’ve got to come together and be willing to talk to – my first thing is take a deep breath and sit back and think, why am I wanting to criticize this woman? And the second thing is really think about the ramifications for community. Because if we don’t talk to people who don’t agree with us and we continue to fight, fight, fight against each other, we’re never going to get anywhere as a community.

Susan: I think both of those points are so simple and poignant because it’s like hey, I know I’ve scrolled through social media and seen things I didn’t agree with and just that like, okay, why does this trigger me? Number one. Number two, what impact is my comment going to have? And so when you think about the impact of your actions, am I here to help or am I here to hurt, and a lot of the time when I think about diving in and making a comment on something, when I ask that question, what impact is my comment going to have, it ultimately – if it’s not to build a bridge or advocate or some kind of positive ramifications, why bother?

Why spend your energy trying to do harm? And I think that it’s fascinating. Social media is a fascinating study to do it, but it’s happening in the school pick up line, it’s happening at PTA, it’s happening in cubicles. How can you have a woman’s back either online or offline?

And one thing that I think can be helpful, if some of you listening are in boardrooms, in meetings, in volunteer positions, support women in meetings by applauding ideas, by having her back when her male counterpart tries to take the idea as his own. There are so many things that we can do to be supportive of one another instead of in competition with one another.

Dr. Bird: And I think it’s really time for us to release this story that we have to be mean to each other, that we have to somehow not agree with other women because they come from a different background than us is absolute utter crap. We just need to release this story because it’s not aligned with who we are as women. Women come together. Women collect. Women bring people together. That’s what we do. It’s what we’ve done for eternity.

And so to split apart women because we don’t necessarily agree with their actions or who they are, it continues to allow us to shame ourselves for not being perfect or who we think we should be. And I don’t want to live in a world – I got about 40 years left. I do not want to spend the next 40 years of my life trying to figure out how to connect with people because I’ve got this driving shame going you’re not perfect, you’re not perfect. I don’t have time for that. Nobody has time for that.

Susan: Nobody got time for that.

Dr. Bird: Especially now.

Susan: Especially now. And so in terms of what do we have time for, I think that that’s a great question because I don’t have time for that is one of the number one thoughts that keeps me from fighting with strangers on the internet. Because I genuinely don’t. I have podcasts to record and blogs to write and coaching sessions to facilitate and classes to teach, as do you. And so when a woman is deciding, let’s say our listeners are like okay, I get it, we need to stop fighting. What are a couple of little things somebody could do today to establish sisterhood and community in a genuine way?

Dr. Bird: So one way is to introduce yourself to your neighbors. I know all of my neighbors and most people I know do not know their neighbors. So one way you can do that is to introduce yourself to your neighbors and that doesn’t take more than 10 seconds. When you see your neighbor outside, go over and say hi. Hi, my name is Missy. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve noticed you just moved in or I’ve noticed you’ve been here for 20 years. Whatever it is, get to know your neighbors.

The second little thing that you can do is really reach out to people you notice are getting consistently bullied online. So if there is someone that inspires you but you notice they’re consistently taking a bunch of crap, just send them a quick little note and say I love you. Thank you. Don’t stop. You rock. Keep doing what you’re doing.

And then I think the third thing is say what you have always wanted to say but that you never had the guts to do. Just say it. And then when the people come after you, just block them. Listen, this is my number one lessons being on Twitter. I have 16,000 followers on Twitter. I have just started getting trolled for the first time ever because I posted a really controversial post.

And people are calling me all sorts of stuff, Susan. It is unbelievable. But the way I look at it is now I have a block list. So this is great because I just am blocking. I’m not engaging. I’m just like wow, that’s an interesting idea. Block. That’s an interesting idea. Block. I’m done. I’m not having that. I had to block 30 trolls last night, which is ridiculous, but that’s what I do is you just block. Say what you have to say what you have to say, please, god. Say what you have to say. Please.

And then once the haters come out, just block them. Just like you said, you don’t have time for that. You’ve got to move on. It’s little tiny connections with people you love and admire. People that you are closest to in your neighborhood and yourself that make all the difference in the world. Connect to yourself, connect to your neighbors, and connect to the people that inspire you.

Susan: I love this. I love this. So Dr. Bird, where can people hang out with you, play with you? What do you want my people to know? Of course, we’ll put all the links in the show notes.

Dr. Bird: If you are a Twitter person, I love being on Twitter and I’m over on Twitter @birdgirl1001. And the other place you can hang out with me is through my website at naturalbornrebel.com. I just released a new book there and it’s free. And it’s called Natural Born Rebel, and it is a manifesto of just kick ass awesome rebellion, and I love it so much. And every time I read it, I’m like wow, I really – who wrote this?

Susan: I say good things.

Dr. Bird: And there’s journal prompts in there and stuff and it’s just a really great inspirational book, so I really love it.

Susan: I’m so excited for people to get their hands on that and learn more about you and I’m not on Twitter but I almost wish I was so that I could join in on the tweets with you. The Twitter shenanigans. Thank you so much for being here. You guys go check out her book. Join her on Twitter if you’re on Twitter. And hey, go support women.

Dr. Bird: Go support women. Stop shaming each other.

Yes. So I love how Dr. Bird broke it down so simply. It’s really about connecting with yourself, connecting with others, building community to make change. And how as women, if we really want to advance ourselves, our families, the world, we must work together and stop tearing one another down.

And hey, if you’re all about that life, if you want to be part of a community that has your back, check the show notes and click on the link to join the Rich Coach Club Facebook community. I’m in there daily. We post all sorts of resources and it’s a great community of women who have each other’s backs. So check it out and join us.

Thank you for listening to today’s episode. It means so much to me to have this podcast listenership growing at such a rapid pace. And we’ve received so much email over the past year about how having an in-person meetup that we’re doing it again. Finish Strong in San Diego is happening. October 4th through the 6th.

So you’re going to want to get your ticket. Check out the information. We have a whole weekend jam-packed full of community, sisterhood, business building. You’re going to want to show up because Friday night we have a yacht party, all day Saturday workshop, and depending on which ticket you purchase, half day workshop Sunday or full day on Sunday as well, I’m bringing fresh content for finishing the year strong, getting the money you want, and creating the sisterhood connections you crave. Get your ticket to Finish Strong.

Alright, thank you so much listening to Susan Hyatt’s Rich Coach Club. If you enjoyed today’s show, please head over to shyatt.com/rich where you’ll find a free worksheet with audio called Three Things You Can Do Right Now To Get More Clients. You can download the worksheet and the audio, print it out, there’s a fun checklist for you to check off. Just three things to do. Check, check, checkidy-check.

This worksheet makes finding clients feel so much simpler and not so scary. So head to shyatt.com/rich to get that worksheet. Over there, you’re also going to find a free Facebook you can join especially for coaches. Bring your coaching practice and your income to the next level at shyatt.com. See you next week.

Susan Hyatt

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